The Dukes of Hazzard: Hazzard in Trouble
by Bandit Darville
Summary: This is the story of Bo, Luke, Daisy, and Uncle Jesse.....and how everybody got into some mighty serious trouble in Hazzard County one day.
1. Chapter 1: Welcome to Hazzard County

**The Dukes of Hazzard: Hazzard in Trouble**

The sequel to the bank robbin' "Bad Day in Hazzard" episode

_Note: The language in this is of a southern accent, so some words are chopped into slang. Enjoy._

/ \ = Narrator's thoughts (like in the show).

**Chapter 1: Welcome to Hazzard County**

/Well, it was like any other day in Hazzard. The sun was out, the sky was blue, birds were in the air flying around; and there wasn't a single sound in the world to disrupt it\. A motor of a car was heard in the distance, revving up like crazy. /Well who's that putting the pedal to the metal? I know the answer…..\.

"Yeeeeehaw!" Two boys yelled as a car jumped overhead, clearing a creek. One was blonde with a yellow shirt; the other had brown hair with a dark and light blue plaid button shirt.

/Those, my friends, are the Duke boys. They fight the system.\

"You know, Luke? How about we get a couple of cold beers at the Boars Nest? I got paid to 'stay out of my office', as Boss Hogg would say." Bo Duke said.

"You got paid REAL money to get outta Boss's office? Something doesn't seem right about that. Ah, well. Not to worry. Let's go get us some cold ones at the Boars Nest." Luke Duke suggested.

"Here's your drink."

/That's Daisy. She's really something, ain't she? She's Bo and Luke's cousin. She also just happens to work at the Boars Nest.\

The cop in town gestured to Daisy, with affection.

/This here is Enos Strait, the finest law officer in Hazzard County. He's the finest because he's the only one out of the other two officers (Hazzard only has 3…..ain't that somethin'?) that's straight as a nail.\

"Roscoe…..I swear. You're about as dumb as you look. Don't you know I told you to **arrest** them Duke Boys? Not play a little tag with them! I don't want them dang Dukes snoopin' around when my truck arrives today at the bank! You could've lost anybody, anybody I tell you; but you had to lose the Dukes! Is this getting through to you, Roscoe?"

"Well, Boss…I wouldn't be playin' tag I'd be playin' hide n' seek if I had to play anything with those Dukes. Keet, keet!"

"Well it seems yo brains were playin' hide n' seek when you set out to catch them boys!"

/Friends, you're lookin' at Boss Jefferson Davis (J.D.) Hogg. If you get your foot stuck in a milk bucket, Boss has enough steam in his head when he's angry to lubricate your leg right out of it. He's the dirtiest, low downiest, meanest man in Hazzard County. He's been working to get to the meanest man in the state award. And right next to him is his faithful Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane. He's the reason the _Deputy_ is the most honest law officer. Anything that has to do with Boss is more crooked than a switchback road. And when he points his pudgy little finger in your direction while giving an order, you better git' right on it\.

"Boss, should I take Enos's car? Mines in the shop and……" Roscoe blurted out in confusion.

"Oh never mind that now, Roscoe. There's an armored car that's taking a whole bundle of my precious gold items to a federal bank in Atlanta, for safe keeping. There's another armored truck taking all of my stolen……err……'confiscated' items to a lock up in Louisiana. That's right, it's making a cross country trip. Only problem is, I have to plan all this stuff out, and I'll have to be making a couple of fast car trips in and out of town. That's why I don't want no Duke sneakin' around when I'm doin' it. I mean; would you be suspicious if you saw a man that usually drives as slow as your brain speeding through town? I would. So I want you to go out there once again and catch them Dukes! Catch all of them Dukes; starting with…………..Daisy! She's the closest! Now go, Roscoe………GIT!" Boss explained angrily.


	2. Chapter 2: The Dukes get Framed, Again

**Chapter 2: The Dukes get Framed, Again**

/Looks like the Dukes are in for a little surprise.\.

The Duke Boys pulled up to the Boars Nest in their hot rod, General Lee. The General Lee was the fastest car in the south, and the Dukes built him from the ground up. Bo and Luke entered the Boars Nest, in search of Daisy. Enos, still sitting at the bar looking at Daisy, finally said a word to the Dukes.

"Howdy Bo, Howdy, Luke. How are you all doing today?"

"About the same as we usually are at this place….thirsty." Bo stated.

"Well, I can sure agree with that!" Enos said with a chuckle.

The boys were looking around the room, pacing back and forth. Luke looked straight at none other than Roscoe P. Coltrane striding right toward them. He pulled up next to the bar, putting a hand on the counter; while almost tripping in the act.

"Keet, keet! You boys are under arrest! I love it, I love it! Alright Enos, cuff em' and stuff em'!"

"Roscoe, can we ask what we did wrong?" Bo said suspiciously.

/As usual, Bo didn't have to be too suspicious about anything. It was Roscoe following Boss Hogg's orders, which I bet you everything can be pinned on the Dukes.\

"Well boys, I'm getting you this time for driving with moonshine in the back of the General Lee!"

"ROSCOE!" a firm voice yelled. From across the room, a figure came through the door.

/That there is Uncle Jesse Duke. He's the family patriarch. He raises the Dukes with kind manner and yet somehow he's always spending money on their bail\.

"Roscoe, you know right well that my boys do NOT make, transport, or sell whiskey since the Federal Government of the U.S of A told us not to. You know that, and J.D. knows that. I don't know what he's got up his fat little sleeve, but tell him to knock it off! Nobody's going to jail today." Jesse told Roscoe off. Roscoe still hesitated and tried to cuff them anyways. The Dukes pulled a fakie on old Roscoe, and headed for the General Lee. They jumped in, turned the key and stepped on the gas. The General Lee rampaged out of the Boars Nest parking lot, and right to the road. Roscoe's patrol car was not far behind.

"Flash, we've got those dang Dukes now! No way they're gonna get away from us……….keet, keet, keet!"

The General Lee hooked a sharp left turn, and sped down the dirt road and 120 miles per hour. The car did a slide into the woods. Roscoe followed them. The General broke through a gate and Bo and Luke found themselves lined up for a perfect jump.

"Ready, Luke?" Bo asked.

"Do it, cousin!"

/I ain't worried about Bo n' Luke, I'm worried about Roscoe's landing! \.

"Yeeeeeeeeehaw!" They both cried out as they made a perfect jump over an 18 wheeler's trailer.

"Let's see Roscoe try that one." Luke boasted.

Roscoe hit the bump in the field, held on, and jumped the 18 wheeler. Bo and Luke were amazed and kind of astonished, until they turned their heads forward to find a truck coming at them at full speed, blowing his horns. Bo turned the wheel to the right, and crashed in between two trees.

"Look out, Bo!" Luke warned. Bo could do nothing at this point. Luke and Bo were caught.

/Well, the moonshine that ole' Roscoe planted in the trunk of the General was found, and used as evidence. Bo and Luke were wound up in the county jail, along with Jesse coming to pay the bail with Daisy. Boss might as well just plant a phony charge on Jesse and Daisy and get the whole Duke clan in his jail.\

"Alright you Dukes, everybody get in the jail cell. No, I don't mean you, Cletus. Keet, you are a dipstick Cletus! I meant the Duke Boys!" Roscoe claimed. Roscoe was as happy as can be, and Boss even happier. Now, he just had to get Daisy and Jesse in jail.

"Alright, boys." Boss whispered on the phone with the two crooks he hired.

"I want you both to go out and find that truck. Remember, there are two trucks out there, so remember to snag the right one! I can't tell you the trucks location right now, but I will in about an hour maybe two. It's too crowded right here where I am to tell you." Boss said.

"Is the pay good, Hogg?" asked one of the crooks, anxious to get his hand on the money this instant.

"Oh yeah, he he, it's gonna be a cinch for you boys. Bye now, I'll tell you the location now." Boss stated, before slamming the phone to the receiver and laughing hysterically. He walked back into the main part of the Sheriff's office when the door mysteriously flew aggressively open; nobody aware of who it is.


	3. Chapter 3: Hazzardous Heist

**Chapter 3: Hazzardous Heist**

"Alright everybody freeze, this is a holdup! I want all of you to stay put until we can successfully make our heist, so nobody move!" shouted the man point a 9 millimeter pistol at the boys. The man sent three more in to help him watch the police office. They all had black trench coats and wearing top hats with silver lining around the brim. The leader was tall and had red orange hair, which was wavy.

/Now, when the Dukes get in the way of a heist or hold up or whatever bad happens (which tends to be all the time), they don't sit around twiddling their thumbs. The Dukes take action, and I mean action. Just keep an eye on them ol' boys; they'll think of something right quick.\

"Uhh, Luke," Bo whispered gently, "you reckon those pea shooters them guys are waving around are just squirt guns?" He said with a sarcastic tone.

"Funny, Bo…real funny. Now think; how are we gonna break outta here?"

"Well, Luke; you're usually the thinker, I'm just the doer. I figure I'll let you take all the hard stuff."

/And within minutes, the Duke Boys finally had a plan to get out of the Hazzard County jail…..by breaking into its basement. Meanwhile, Boss and Roscoe were still in his office, unaware that a heist was goin' on right in his very jailhouse.\

"Roscoe I'm starving! Is there anything to eat around this dump? Can't an honest man find ANYTHING to eat these days?" Boss whined with sorrow.

"Well Boss, look at the size of your plump little stomach and then tell me how much food you can get these days". Roscoe said, unaware of an insult to Boss; like usual.

"Are you callin' me fat, Roscoe P. Coltrane? Remember, your job is on the line every second of the day!"

"No, no! You look wonderful! I've never seen you exercise as much as you have been, ever!" Roscoe yelped. And behind his back he mumbled, "You fat water buffalo. I'd just like to knock you into the middle of next you dipstick!"

/Boss does look a little thinner, doesn't he? \.

"Boss, you _do_ look a little thinner. What's wrong with you? Did you get a vapor lock and lose your appetite?" Roscoe asked.

"No, you clumsy dodo. It's my money belt. I usually wear it around me, but this time I kept it in my safe. I figure if anything were pulled, uh…..like a heist or something, my money belt would be locked up tight in my safe, along with the usual $50,000 I keep in there."

Boss Hogg and Roscoe stepped out of there office into the main room of the jailhouse, opening the door. With a shriek, Boss stood still as if he'd just seen a ghost. Roscoe just did his usual routine, both in complete and total shock.

"Oooh! Boss look at that those guys just walked in here and……hey……they just walked in here with guns! Keet, Keet I love it I love it! I get to make an arrest! Ok boys, drop your………" Roscoe's sentence was cut short by a gun barrel pointing at him.

"……….Weapons. I mean, you can just move me and Boss over into that corner as a matter of fact I'll move myself for you, uhh, I mean……..never mind."

"Fatty, get in the corner with the hick sheriff. Now move it!" the man holding the pistol said.

"Well I may be fat, but I'm county commissioner. I don't deserve this I'm the richest man in the county!" Boss Hogg ruled out.

/Now I don't know about you, but why on earth would Boss announce his riches to bank robbers? \.

"I don't care if you're the richest in the state." The man stated." I'll tell you what. You come with me into your little bitty office, and we are going to have a _crack_ at that safe of yours. That's right buddy, move it! And tie that bumbling sheriff up, will you?"

While Boss was helping the crook crack his own safe, Bo and Luke were cookin' up a plan to get them out of that jailhouse.

"Hey, Daisy" Luke whispered. "Come over here I want to talk to you."

"Yes Luke? What's on your mind, cousin?" Daisy responded.

"Well me and Bo have a plan. It ain't anything new or last minute, it's more of a classic. Well we reckon we should start a fight, or maybe have Bo deliberately knock me into one of the bad dudes, causing a distraction. Try to raise Crazy C on the CB and have him wait outside with his truck, since Boss impounded the General Lee. I'm going to tell Roscoe the plan." Luke said. He finished his sentence with a slow move over to Roscoe.

"Hey Roscoe! I have a plan to get outta here. I was thinking that we could start a fight, and Bo could deliberately hit me into one of the bad dudes, causing some confusion. Sound good?" Luke asked.

"Keet, that's nice Luke. 'Deliberately'…..you learned a big word. Give him a round of applause; keet, keet, keet!"

"Roscoe, just make sure you take part in the distraction."

/Meanwhile, Boss was still ticking away at a safe he couldn't crack.\

Boss purposely clicked the wrong combinations, just to make sure it would stall them until help could come along a little sooner. Bo and Luke were all set with the plan, and they finally put it into action.


End file.
